Parliament of Fowls

Animal Magic Tricks? From technomist in Archipelago of Truth (5 hours old)

I have tended to look upon the shuttering of local shops with quite innocent eyes. I notice when a shop has its shutters down for more than a few days, and wonder if there is a family illness, or a ho… more

No Sex-Were British! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (6 hours old)

London – Westminster: A bill passed Parliament today, outlawing the possession of "extreme pornography" is set to become law next week. However the law, which encompasses 'violent sexual act’s could… more

A Fit And Proper Person From ianrthorpe in Boggartblog (6 hours old)

The dark forces of football oligarchy are ganging up on little Chester City but it looks like one rule for the minnows, another for the big clubs. The FA have ordered Stephen Vaughan, Chester’s owner … more

Orange Fruit Juice Causes Influenza Shock! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (6 hours old)

United Kingdom – Oxford – A Scientific report released today by UK Scientists contains startling new information in reference to orange juice and the common cold. Experiments conducted by Oxford … more

A Wee Fly Holiday From nultygoestopartick in nultygoestopartick (8 hours old)

Just before we left Tenerife a wee fly managed to get into the plane I hope it brought it's duffle coat and wellies and it finds a big steaming hot jobbie with a neon sign saying ''Fly's Are Us'' to… more

Rumpy I From technomist in Armchair Revolutionaries (8 hours old)

I see we have a new Holy Roman Emperor. Apparently he is from Belgium. I have no idea whether he speaks French or Flemish, or more importantly, takes mayonaise or ketchup with his chips, but we are to… more

I need glasses! From arctictern in The Dustbin of Life (8 hours old)

I was going to go to Birmingham tomorrow to see the last F1 stockcar meeting of 2009 then I saw the weather forecast. Rain, rain and rain with a spot of rain in between showers. So thats it, no more s… more

Redbridge Takes on Newham, (Waltham Forest does nothing yet) From technomist in Archipelago of Truth (10 hours old)

On a drizzly day like today we either have no planes overhead or hundreds, as they seem to fly over the clouds to where they are going or come down to the bottom of them to sneek a peak. As it happens… more

Back Home From nultygoestopartick in nultygoestopartick (11 hours old)

Well I'm back but not missing my daily swim, there is a puddle round the back the size of Loch Lomond but is fowkin FREEEEEEEEEEZIN but at least the sun is out.… more

One More Push From nultygoestopartick in nultygoestopartick (11 hours old)

Well they fit me yesterday … more

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (11 hours old)

Time was being called on the reality TV programme 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here' after former Eastenders star Lucy Benjamin was brutally clubbed to death and eaten. The drama unfolded after… more

Meep From technomist in Armchair Revolutionaries (21 hours old)

Here's a story from the States. Danvers High School in Massachusetts has banned students from saying the word "meep." Officials say students use the word, to disrupt school. http://www.salemne… more

American Animals From arctictern in The Dustbin of Life (22 hours old)

We all know the American idea of hunting is to find an animal that is standing still then blow the poor bastard to smithereens. Very big, very brave, very macho...NOT. Just very stupidly American. The… more

Attack Of The Killer Trousers From ianrthorpe in Poets Cornered (1 day old)

Have you ever noticed anything sinister about the trousers old men wear. Attack Of The Killer Trousers… more

Celebrating! From The_Walrus ^Pro in The Walrus (1 day old)

I just found out that the notorious clone of Mrs Thatcher, the utterly revolting money-grubber Blair is no longer in contention for the post of European Council president. Perhaps now he will start wo… more

Viagra Spill Revives Loch Ness! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

Scotland-Inverness — A Coastal freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra heading for Inverness struck a submerged rock outcrop and sank in Loch Ness today. As a result… more

Playing Politics With The Dear Old Queen From ianrthorpe in Boggartblog (1 day old)

The Queen’s Speech by convention, wile setting out the government’s programme is not about party politics nor is it supposed to be about a failing government shafting the opposition that will soon rep… more

William Morris Multicultural Day Care Centre From technomist in Archipelago of Truth (1 day old)

On the opposite corner from Millenium Food and Wine at the junction of Melville Road and Erskine Road there is a slightly shabby building which houses the William Morris Multicultural Day Care Centre.… more

The Drive From Middleagedbloke ^Pro in Middleagedbloke (1 day old)

Well I did it, drove from Benalmadena to Almuñecar! Phew. Put off my departure until after half one as it had rained overnight and I wanted nice sunny conditions for the trip, I am a nervous driver… more

Englishman Found Guilty of Sexual Breach of the Peace. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

Following last week's barmy decision by a District Judge in Wales that a man who masturbated with a Tricycle in a hotel room was guilty of sexual breach of the peace, another District Judge in Wal… more

You can't believe the Telegraph... From The_Walrus ^Pro in The Walrus (1 day old)

They have this fine picture of a lenticular cloud, here... Underneath, the text says... Sometimes likened to UFOs, lenticular clouds are usually created by gravity waves. No, they are not… more

Stolen Pregnancy Diaries Appear Online! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

Kent: When four women from Bromley sat down to document their experiences of first-time pregnancy and childbirth, their instinct was to be as blunt on paper as they were with each other. However … more

CD Kar Electrics From technomist in Archipelago of Truth (1 day old)

CD Kar Electrics is one of those small car-related businesses whose presence in otherwise mainly residential streets really only seems to make sense when you see that they are living in one of those t… more

Katie Price Admits Masturbation Habit. From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

London: 31-year-old former glamour model, television personality and businesswoman Katie Price revealed in an unusually candid portion of her new book "Rogue Woman" that she frequently masturbates. … more

Women are an Endangered Species! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (1 day old)

London: Professor Christopher Sheasby O.B.E, Principal Director of Public Health for the United Kingdom has placed women between the ages of 25 to 49 years of age on the Departments endangered speci… more

Russian cops arrest cannibals From Petewilko in Wilkos Blog (1 day old)

Russian police have arrested three homeless men suspected of killing and eating a 25-year-old and selling parts of his body to a kebab and pie kiosk. The alarm was raised when bits of a corpse were… more

Annoying Amazon From The_Walrus ^Pro in The Walrus (1 day old)

I find them really useful when I'm selling special Lego sets like Cybermaster. So I was cross today when I had an email from them saying some nonsense about how they were having some sort of Christ… more

Millennium Food and Wine From technomist in Archipelago of Truth (2 days old)

Anyone remember The Millennium? I don't. I didn't go to any memorable effort for it at all. It may have been the champagne, but I do not recall a trip down to some corruptly built shed in docklands fo… more

Women's Medications Affecting fish! From tel1342 ^Pro in The Dead Synapses Society (2 days old)

United Kingdom: Bristol - Some male fish in parts of the River Seven are developing female characteristics, possibly because they're being exposed to birth control pills and hormone treatments that … more

Emmanuel Christian Centre From technomist in Archipelago of Truth (2 days old)

At the corner of Erskine Road and Cottenham Road stands a large building with an air of use and vigour about it, called the Emmanuel Christian Centre. It is officially 102-106 Erskine Road. The gr… more