Parliament of Fowls

Another look at the Tories’ fortunes through the lens of the Magic The Gathering trading card game.

At end of play, we found out that a single person will put Labour to flight later on in the autumn. Since the card was from the blue suit – suggesting to me a Conservative figure – we now have to see whether at the same time as trying to chart the Tories’ progress through the summer – choppy waters and all – we can flesh out the “Vodalian Mage” who turned up. I don’t feel this is Cameron – he is vulnerable and does not surprise many people these days, and is too immersed in the system to be too dangerous any more, particularly as Pluto has left the talkative, idealistic and somewhat vapid sign of Sagittarius (no disrespect to any Sagittarians out there – my Moon, and that of Owlperson, is in Sagittarius itself) into the earthy and more direct sign of Capricorn, guaranteeing some sort of flashpoint over the course of the next few years. This astrological symbolism is measured in years – from 2009 to 2024 – but Pluto’s move into Capricorn only solidified political battles which have hitherto found little ability to root themselves in anything approaching fine loam and sprout roots. Pluto has been in Sagittarius since 1995, which roughly coincides with the end of the period in which bigger more intense battles were fought elsewhere over ideological substance, and the beginning of the recent phase marked by words speaking larger than actions – the so-called threat from terrorism which did culminate in 9/11 but then turned out to be a paper tiger as regards the real danger to the West. The credit crunch has had an impact – Pluto moving into Capricorn – but Pluto in Sagittarius failed to produce any serious challenge to the western status quo which the Soviet Union embodied during the period of Pluto in Scorpio and before.

As I begin to understand astrology better (and I have an interesting article still to write on my research into electoral fraud, the last election, and astrological predictions for it; I think this also has to do with the Vodalian Mage or the person I think it is) I will write a bit more, but the Tories deserve as much scrutiny as Labour do. So without further verbiage...

PART 2: THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY

Situation

Wing Storm: Sorcery

A thousand wings beating as one can choke the sky itself.

I think the Conservative Party here is choking itself by the number of voices it is trying to speak in and the number of people it is trying to appease. Though it keeps airborne, it may have peaked and gone over with itself damaged by the expenses scandal; though this may hurt the government more at the moment, it will drag the Tories down if they begin to choke themselves because of it. I am drawn to the picture, which shows an old man elf defending himself against a storm, against perhaps death by a thousand cuts. An overwhelming barrage might just help, but it is no substitute for sorting their own selves out and then focussing on barraging the government coherently and with suitable weight behind their words.

Opposing Forces

Svyelunite Priest: Creature – Merfolk

“Early Vodalians worshipped Svyelun, goddess of the Pearl Moon. Later, she became a more abstract figure.” – Sarpadian Empires, vol V.

Here we have the weight of tradition and of history preying on the Tories and holding them back. It is not so much inertia but the difficulties of coming across as a genuine alternative to current chaos rather than being seen as part of it. We have a reference to Vodalia, which although a minor part of the Magic universe is the homeland of our elusive Mage. In opposition to the current party is not good – the Vodalian Mage will work for the Party eventually but he is currently not “of” the party, confirming my suspicion he is not Cameron himself. The more general reading for this card is the stagnation and mindlessness of what the Tories have to put out, and their reliance on abstraction than on concrete momentum to match the times.

Public appearance

Deep Spawn: Creature – Homarid

The Homarids are cousins to Merfolk, in this specific set (“Fallen Empires”, published in 1994 and one of the early game expansions), a race of lobster-men. The card has the ability to evade what is going on at the moment, to stop themselves being the targets of people who would otherwise be targeting it as part of the problem. In a sense the benefit of the doubt is still with the Tories. It could change, however, as we move further on.

Inner realities

Homarid Warrior: Creature – Homarid Warrior

Again, the party believes it is canny enough to evade the public’s wrath, leaving Labour to suffer at their hands. I’m not sure – and neither is Owlperson – how long this will last but the party at least conforms to public appearance, suggesting that people are seeing the reality of a political issue for once in a very long time.

Roots of current situation

Vodalian Soldiers: Creature – Merfolk Warrior

“You think you know everything there is to know about battle? You know orc droppings! Underwater combat is three dimensional. Those thrice-damned Vodalians don’t attack in ranks; they attack in schools.” Irva Jursdotter, pp David Cameron

Another few words from the wise Irva Jursdotter. Here the Vodalians represent the way in which the Tories believed that they would escape from the phase we have entered without much harm and they would be able to take on all comers over their own deep issues here. But when the situation becomes as three-dimensional as it has – and by that I mean that people begin to act in genuine dismay rather than as manipulative as the era of Pluto in Sagittarius has been – there are only winners when people seize the moment and take their rulers – and the so-called Opposition – to task. This is when the problems start – it is up to the party now to solve the issues involved without losing their own momentum – such as it ever was – towards government. Vodalia is not necessarily in opposition to the rest of the party here – the card is not in a negative or ill-dignified aspect – but on the other hand the Tories were in the main taken by surprise when the expenses scandal broke and thus are worthy of a slightly less positive reading to this card at the moment.

Seeds sown by current situation

Grinning Ignus: Creature – Elemental

“Take care what you offer the ignus. Food, perhaps. Coins. But nothing flammable!” – Stovic, village eccentric.

The Tories end this section of the traditional “cross” with a warning – try not to fan the flames of the expenses scandal or its aftermath, particularly not by machinating against the new Speaker for petty party political reasons. Otherwise their house might catch fire too. In other words, a standard “sow the wind, reap the whirlwind” warning.

Existing resources

Ogre Leadfoot: Creature – Ogre

When the goblins need more scrap for the Great Furnace, they simply let the ogres loose and follow in their wake.

Again, here we have the Tories unleashing a storm hoping that it will damage Labour more than it does them. A consequence of Pluto in Sagittarius is that words often speak louder than actions; and this may have lead the Tories to believe over successive leaderships that the way back into government merely means shouting louder than their opponents. As in the Boris spread, this suggests also that they are using someone else to further their own ideas rather than taking control and directing the forces at work. They may believe this worked for Tony Blair over the year of 1996, where successive complaints regarding society as a whole – such as the Dunblane petition and Snowdrop Appeal – went through the Labour Party. However this is repeating here as farce as the Tories try to manipulate their limited policy means into a way of making capital out of nothing, or even out of a negative situation which embroiled them too. Clumsy use of existing resources, in other ways, which has the potential to get out of control and wreck them quite spectacularly.

Personnel Issues

Clockspinning: Instant

A way of manipulating things which is more controlled but again expensive to sustain or repeat and ultimately – pardon Owlperson’s French when he says this – “pissing into the wind”. (Owlie: politics makes us all speak in language which would be otherwise unacceptable to any serious commentator; witness Bob Crowe’s use of language which required multiple asterisks on the front page of the Metro during the Tube strike.) The Tories are trying to put the clock forward to desperately protect – and perhaps remove – those of them that look particularly vulnerable. Again, a suggestion of desperation and it also seems that they too fear the Vodalian Mage, if Owlie’s interpretation of why they would want to have an election – or to put the clock forward on personnel issues – is correct. He also dares to say that this is better than tarot as it is more obvious to me what is going on in which position, and again confirms Cameron too knows – at least subconsciously – who the Vodalian Mage is.

Issues with the new Speaker

Fatal Attraction: Enchantment – Aura

Not one they would like to have seen, but perhaps they can still use him themselves, or use the situation to really prop themselves up – with the constant danger that their machinations against him smack of the inability to settle down and let things get back to normal. Bercow’s appointment has thoroughly annoyed them and has earned him enmity from all quarters of the party – Owlperson says this is partly justified, but the way in which these plots have been made public is symptomatic of why the Tories cannot really be in the position yet to govern the country in everyone’s interests. The party and Bercow will come to blows, and this will not be pleasant for either the Speaker or the Conservative leadership. A situation best left alone – but the tensions are too high for that.

Direction

Gilt-Leaf Ambush: Tribal Instant – Elf

This basically says to me that the tribal instincts in the Tories are like those in Labour when they used to harp on about the miners and what Thatcher was doing to them. It is difficult to see the Tories curing themselves of their petty tribalism and distinguishing themselves from the naked self-interest of Labour. Labour tripped themselves up over Margaret Beckett, but this card suggests that the Tories’ attempts to claim Labour are trying to “fix” the election by introducing PR or have appointed Bercow Speaker merely to spite them show they are walking into ambushes that Fate has left for them. This impresses very few people I know, except the most nakedly tribal among them. I have learned through bitter experience myself that to really understand government you have to stand outside your own party on occasion. Not as far outside it as John Bercow, admittedly, but such that you gain perspective on your own failings. Ironically it was tribal old Owlperson who taught me that but then again he shocked me quite a lot when we got to know each other two years ago that it helped my political self-discovery to an extent where I understand this particular situation and the consequences of tribal ambushes everywhere.

Solution

Fistful of Force: Instant

Again, the Tories need to whack forward; they can’t go back to the languid stalemate of the past few years. The “Clash” element of the card, where random elements decide what is going to happen next in the game, suggests that possibilities can be found but that their magnitude – and hence their impact – is still up for debate and may not fully depend on them.

Outcome

Skittering Monstrosity: Creature – Horror

Most living things were weakened and stunted in the ruinous aftermath of the Phyrexian invasion, but a few grew more horrid than ever.

In other words, the expenses scandal has warped things so badly that what comes of the current Conservative Party is distorted and contorted so much that its original purpose is now stunted and focussed solely on naked self-advantage rather than the government of the country in the interests of all – which the Tories, once installed (harder than it often looks) are usually quite good at. The current incarnation of the Conservative Party is showing that the Nasty Party never really went away, and that Cameron cannot control it; he is part of it himself if he cannot do so. Luckily the appearance of a new figure will kill this abomination, but for now it remains on the game-board, oozing nastiness everywhere.

Significant events – Summer

Think Twice: Instant

“Great books are meant to be read, then read again backwards or upside down!” – Ettovard, Tolarian archivist

The card’s keyword is Flashback, which hits me as a clue to what comes out of this thinking period; and then it suggests that the party has to search high and low for a clear and lasting solution. As I said, the Vodalian Mage is a Tory, but he may not be a Conservative – not at this point or in the way Conservative currently means. The party has to solve this issue – one more of leadership, direction and strategy as well as the issue of what to do with the Skittering Monstrosity – before it can progress, and this has to happen this summer to have any chance of impressing the public in the run up to an election. Happily, this is an event card, not an advice card, so it does.

Significant events – Autumn

Spore Flower: Creature – Fungus

Labour had “Spore Cloud” in its cards, but the product of that cloud belongs to the Tories’ autumn predictions. The skittering monstrosity that the party has become has gone to be replaced with a blossom of hope. The plant is still fungal, but the exhaustion in the posture of the woman in the card at least means that the party has come to rest and found its voice in a seemly manner conducive to the kind of public debate that creates a government rather than merely wins elections. Thankfully, this coincides with the return of the Vodalian Mage and confirms he is a Conservative.

I've had a request to read for this by a friend from Twitter, angelneptustar, who despite our differences in opinion - she is more Conservative at present than I am - has had the patience to put up with my rants for a while now. She requested a reading on Twitter about Boris Johnson and his chances for PM, and although I am initially sceptical and am inclined to say no outright - for matters of mundane opinion as well as higher guidance - I want to see what the cards say about Boris' real purpose here. Not ruling out a higher station for now, but the obstacles against Boris as PM are currently high, particularly if the Tories do pull off an election win. Since he would have to relinquish his post as Mayor, with three years to run on that ticket that would make him have to wait until the next but one general election; he would also have to work his way up to the top through a potential Conservative Cabinet and survive the intense scrutiny of performance not in opposition but in government. While he is - according to Owlperson who lives within his jurisdiction - a fairly all right Mayor, his response to the scrutiny committee suggested to me that he would not survive the harsher scrutiny a Prime Minister or senior Cabinet minister would face in office, and I'm not 100% sure that behind the facade he really appreciates the magnitude of even the London job. He would do better concentrating on other projects - but that's just my opinion.

Spiritually speaking, Boris is in fact an angel incarnated, with a frog totem (which gives him his bouncy nature and his buffoonish enjoyment of the good life; other frogs in politics have been David Mellor - previously Minister for Far Too Much Fun - and Ann Widdecombe, again someone whose cheery and optimistic outlook on life nevertheless has led to her skimming over the surface rather than forging a brilliant (Shadow) Cabinet career on the back of her initial rise to prominence as the nemesis of Michael Howard. Howard fared much better than Widdecombe in the end because of his Bubo Scandiaca owl totem allowing a deeper and less superficial basis to keep him going in tough times and to work harder to achieve what he wanted in government and opposition. In Widdecombe's case her love of celebrity and diletanttism, coupled with a common attribute of frogs - a deep idealism sitting ill-at-ease with the demands for compromise in government. Boris' angelic nature makes him a place-holder for tasks which might otherwise fall to those who would use them for darker purposes. When we are talking of purposes at a higher level, we have to look at the bigger picture. Boris fits because he is charismatic, but lacks the more dangerous ambition that might corrupt him. With Pluto in Capricorn passing the baton to us in terms of cataclysmic events, we need all the help we can get.

What do the cards say? Sticking with the Magic cards, let's have a look.

Reasons for Boris to be here in the first place.

Ogre Leadfoot: Creature - Ogre

"When the goblins need more scrap for the Great Furnace, they simply let the ogres loose and follow in their wake."

If Angel will forgive me in comparing the Tories to Goblins, it seems that Boris represents the harbinger of Conservative rule returning, but the chaotic nature of the red card "suit" in Magic suggests something random and unplanned to Boris, which is balanced only by the ability of the job to grow on Mr Johnson. I think Boris is not necessarily aware of this, but there is a certain way to which he was used by the Tories last year to put up a better candidate who could trump Livingstone, and indeed the closeness of the result suggests it was Boris' personality which finally won it rather than the Tory label. So Boris is firstly here to restore the Tories to a governing position, though he is manipulated from behind the scenes - not a good quality in an ultimate leader.

Reasons Boris went for London.

Fatal Attraction: Enchantment - Aura

Again, a red card. The card is one used on an opponent's creature, not on your own, as it damages the creature, either crippling it turn after turn or killing it outright. Thus perhaps Boris, again at the request of his party (though it was more complicated than that, according to Owlperson), was used against Labour, not for the Tories. Such a short-sighted view of political necessities - such as the ability to govern as well as just win - will only exacerbate the negative influence of Pluto in Capricorn in the year to come. The old order - that currently in sway and that which Pluto will wipe away - is more concerned with scoring victories, whether Labour's "historic third term" which has been historic in all the wrong ways, or the Conservatives' coup in London - lives to win rather than govern. This is crippling not only both parties but government itself - and thus the negative aura around this card.

Boris as a man

Thick-Skinned Goblin: Creature - Goblin Shaman

The shaman of the tribe is responsible for keeping track of all its treasures, including angry pets and cursed lamps of fiery doom.

I'm sorry, Angel, I don't mean that Boris is a bad goblin, merely that in keeping with the cards around him, he is at least maintaining something in the way of a balance, making a go of running London, and taming angry pets like Sir Ian Blair or his own officials. He is going somewhere, but in the context of what cards are in my reading pack at the moment, I'm not sure this is entirely optimistic as a result.

Boris as a politician

Nightshade Assassin: Creature - Human Assassin

Again, an equivocal card. Boris is "playable" as a joker, a wild card (though not our Vodalian Mage) and someone to strike hard and take others by surprise. Labour perhaps thought they could win indefinitely with Ken, and my cousin believes that Ken may not be long gone or gone long. Boris needs to deepen himself and not be such a tool - literally - if he wants to be PM, and even then I'm not positive he will be. In fact, I'm quite negative on that score given the cards surrounding him.

Boris' roots

Basalt Gargoyle: Creature - Gargoyle

He is resilient; he bounces, in Owlperson's words. There is nothing really explicit here - aside again from the firey side of his nature (Boris is an air sign, a Gemini, but these cards suggests he might have several fire signs around him) - except a feeling that his resilience does count for him rather than against in any power struggle or leadership bid. But this can't tell the whole story - we need to look at how he would govern the country if given the chance.

Boris' seeds in politics - what is his legacy?

Pendelhaven Elder: Creature - Elf Shaman

The elder who carries the ancestral mantle of Jacques le Vert is tasked with his ancient mission: to protect the creatures of Pendelhaven.

Boris does give strength to others; the leadership issue here is muted but present; again however he has fulfilled that promise with London and I don't believe Owlperson agrees that the future is mutable enough to allow him to slip a few years in Downing Street onto his CV. But this shows us that Boris has developed something enough to sustain him after he leaves the Mayoralty; a backseat position perhaps; advising, explaining, teaching, acting as a raconteur for the next generations but not in a foremost leadership role. I do "never say never", but Prime Ministers are not chosen on the whim of a few years as a bon viveur; Owlperson counsels that to him this card says venerable journalist and even eminence grise rather than kingmaker or indeed king.

Prospects this year

Krovikan Rot: Instant

Boris doesn't appear to be able to escape Pluto in Capricorn either. The difficulties for the whole country are intensifying, and he is neither immune nor the immediate answer, although the Elder above suggests he survives the coming storm, although Owlie adds: barely. The "Recover" keyword suggests that Boris is salvageable, but the card does promise danger ahead for all concerned. Sadly I'm not sure Boris is best placed to make the most of this crisis as a leadership contender.

So - PM - yes or no?

Lightning Storm: Instant

Danger strikes first. Boris is not in parliament, so he faces a struggle to get back in. No doubt paths may be smoothed - Kensington and Chelsea might surprisingly end up vacant, though Rifkind has been glossed over as far as I've seen during this scandal - but if he wanted to be in a position to make the most of this issue or this crisis he is not for the moment a contender. Lightning may strike for him, but it may equally strike him down. Going by Owlperson's information, it is more likely to be the latter, because he like most others in this saga has behaved with lax abandon and not kept himself out of the fray for later. Our Vodalian Mage friend has done just that. Boris may be a wild card, but he is not the Vodalian Mage.

In a sense, Boris will never be PM because he just is not the right person at the right time. He is not even yet in the running, and if the Conservative Party wants a serious crack at government, then they have to stop looking for fresh meat and capitalise on the situation at hand. Although as I have established Labour will be put to flight by one of us - I still think of myself as a Tory, if at the moment rather manque - it might not be Boris as the timings, totems and characters of the relevant people conspire against him, and the Tories in David Cameron already have a candidate for now (although again, Cameron is not, I believe, the Vodalian Mage).

I remember where I was when it was whispered in my ear that perhaps I would enjoy Dungeons and Dragons. Just like that, in the relevant department at Hamley’s, I became a big fan of the fantasy role-playing game; my best friend Zoe was into it as well and an avid fan of the Pern Dragonrider series by Anne MacCaffrey (which I have never read to date, preferring Feist, Weis and Hickman and David Eddings for my fantasy bread and butter). Escaping into a world of gargantuan lizards with noble elves sat on their back, trying desperately to grapple with Lord of the Rings in the queue for school dinners at Wycombe High School, and imagining myself and my friends as heroes in our own fantasy universe, there are immense parallels at time between art and life. Looking at life through these eyes makes it a bit less mundane. Although perhaps we have to come down to earth at some point (gastric flu really helps in that regard, twenty four gruesome hours of being sick and then the two-day hangover afterwards – not nice), the current goings-on at Westminster to me have brought back some of the excitement of an epic fantasy cycle where the keys to the kingdom really do hang in the balance.

On and off I have, since that afternoon in 1992, enjoyed the odd game or five not only of Magic: The Gathering (not simply “Magic” because of the difficulty in copyrighting that single word for a single game, but hereafter “Magic” with a capital M will refer to the trading card game, or TCG) but of Dungeons and Dragons itself, and although the expense can become prohibitive at times and I duck out for a while, it always drags me back in. In the spring I went to Brighton for a couple of days and, due to the interminable diet of pop-non-fiction I was reading (“Blood River”, the trip up the Congo by Telegraph journalist Tim Butcher didn’t hold my attention, being a mere catalogue of his trip rather than a really coherent whole book, and on starting Lewis Page’s “Lions, Donkeys and Dinosaurs” – a polemic against waste and bureaucracy in the military – during a rather dull dinner at Zizzi’s on the first night, I went out the next morning and found a shop selling knock-down copies of the Forgotten Realms series of books...and I was hooked back in again. It helps that Owlperson claims he was the one who whispered into my ear about D&D back in 1992; and if you believe that, you’ll believe that the Krynnish cataclysm is being played out in front of our very eyes this summer at Westminster.

What I enjoy about Magic is that there is an intelligence and strategy about the game, and a wide community. While it will never surpass chess as a game of kings – for obvious commercial as well as practical reasons – the game is proving resilient enough to survive the “fad” phase and enter a venerability for commercial products that rivals D&D itself – in fact when the original D&D company folded in the late 1990s, Wizards of the Coast, who launched Magic in 1993 as the first ever TCG took it over. I don’t want this to become an infomercial for the game or the company, but the lead designer Mark Rosewater is one of the best bloggers-that-never-were with his articles on designing the game providing a deep insight into the psychology of the game as well as the necessary puff-pieces for new product. Reading his columns is like reading something that cuts through a lot of the verbiage and spin put out in newspapers and magazines these days and although to appreciate a lot of the articles you would need a basic appreciation of the game itself, I’ve come to value his weekly column because it chimes with the way I too see the world – not just as a series of mundane exercises in pointless manipulation, but as an adventure where someone can really change and create something – a grow-your-own-adventure, if you will. He also writes thousands of words at a time, proving to me you can be a successful columnist and not have to compress your writings into a single page. An archive of articles can be found here.

On to the meat of my own column – since I’ve titled this Part 1: Labour it must follow that there will be something political about it. I only really want to test the cards out for now, to see whether they provide a sharper definition of the real issues facing the party (or, in the case of the Parts 2 and 3 and possibly 4,863, other parties, other figures, and other situations that might arise). I will go back to using tarot at some point, and perhaps vary from week to week or situation to situation, but having 10,000 potential cards to choose from – not all of them in my own collection – there are possibilities to define the situation at hand sharper than using the tarot, which despite having a potential 156 outcomes – assuming one card spreads and reversals – is often too symbolic for my intuitive mind to compute what it precisely means. Magic speaks in real-world animal symbols (the Ashcoat Bear I mentioned in my last article), in activity, in language which uses active situations rather than archetypal symbols. For someone able to clairvoyantly see what each card means, tarot remains a universal means of fortune-telling with a focus. For someone like me, who is at this stage of my development very decidedly “off” but in communication with spirits who guide and advise rather than foretell, it makes it easier for me to understand what messages I am being given, particularly about poor old John Bercow, the most recent subject of my Magic readings.

Without further ado, here is a simple Celtic Cross spread for the way ahead for the Labour Party. All links go to the Gatherer database which provides an image of each card I draw. Apologies to Wizards of the Coast if I tread on any copyright issues here but I don’t plan on trying to infringe these, merely using the cards under fair use clause.

PART 1: THE LABOUR PARTY

Situation:

Ray of Distortion: Instant

Labour are currently in the position of apparently being in office but not in power. But is this really the case? The warping effect of the current scandal, the lack of coherent and concrete opposition, and the ability of New Labour to get out of similar depths of electoral unpopularity in the past suggest to me that we are not seeing the real depths of the situation and we need to filter this of partisan barracking and the fact that the Tories seem to be equally at a loss to control what is going on. The difference between now and, say, 1996 is that there is no one power base in parliament, just a petty melee of hopelessness on both sides. The Ray of Distortion thus counsels us not to view anything as a fait accompli quite yet.

Opposing forces:

Deeptread Merrow: Creature – Merfolk Rogue

“My success at navigating the Dark Meanders irritates the Inkfathom school. They consider themselves peerless divers, but I try to remind them that they cannot own commodities like bravery and cunning.”

The issues which Labour neglect are increasing plots rather than calmer seas ahead, particularly as regards their leadership, and there are also concerns that their own scheming – seen this week over Margaret Beckett – will damage and derail hopes of a return to more policy-orientated discussions, where they do have the advantages. Letting plots get out of control could be fatal if it damages their ability to govern and their ultimate majority in the Commons.

Public appearance:

Herbal Poultice: Artifact

“Apply orange leaf to a wound at dawn to clean it, at dusk to prevent the same injury from happening again” – Kithkin superstition

If Labour were ever to recover sufficient to win a general election, it might be now while their opponents are caught in the same parliamentary trap and unable to make serious play of their own virtues. If the Prime Minister can grasp that he is still perhaps regarded as the best policy-maker out there he may save his politicking until things get firmer for him. The public may even be recovering from their feeding frenzy and beginning to trust again, though much more of this pettiness may permanently seal everyone’s fate. Thus Labour must not lose sight of their public policy agenda, but it may become difficult to rely on it in the long term.

Inner realities:

Wanderer’s Twig: Artifact

For every tree who falls, there are countless sprouts waiting to rise.

This is broadly positive card, again, with the caveat that deadwood has to be cleared away still. The party is running out of raw material, but maybe within the mulch of their backbench there still remain potential candidates to replace the fallen, and the soil may still prove to be fertile down there.

Roots of the current situation

Changeling Berserker: Creature – Shapeshifter

Labour were able to rebalance temporarily, and are ploughing on towards the next election hopeful they can sort things out to make sure they scrape through. This momentum may not be very stable, and like berserkers in games and fantasy fiction, they may find that the struggle exhausts them so much so any current victories may well end up pyrrhic. Dealing with this mutability and changeability is the secret to solving Labour’s issues and trying to go forward.

Seeds sown by the current situation

Primal Forcemage: Creature – Elf Shaman

Their calls unheeded by the withered forests, nature shamans channelled the life force of their brethren.

Labour summon courage seemingly from nowhere and begin to get the situation under control. They find the energy from somewhere, certainly, but it is a rather temporary and one-shot energy and it is still unclear to me who will come out best from this situation.

Existing resources

Freyalise’s Radiance: Enchantment

Again, another card referring to keeping the situation under control and the worst aspects at bay until a more lasting solution can be found. Although most of these cards suggest sudden spurts of energy and solutions found to immediate problems, they can only at best keep the situation at arm’s length and are not lasting or permanent enough to really solve Labour’s internal problems. There is no real ability to sustain this power without massive resources, and I’m not sure Labour possess this mettle any more. Whether the opposition can do things better is an issue (Owlperson begs to interrupt here with that) but that is a matter for the Conservative part coming later.

Personnel issues

Brassclaw Orcs: Creature – Orc

“A whole skin is worth a thousand victories.” – Orcish Veteran of the Battle of Montford

Labour need to rely on the courage and the perseverance of their top brass to keep the government going and replenished after resignations after the expense scandal; but they cannot really here rely on people who are desperate to save themselves at the expense of others. The situation veers between wanting to keep Labour alive in government as the Tories for themselves managed in 1992, and going down to a lesser defeat now to maintain a parliamentary presence better than that that happened to their rivals in 1997. The situation has been dragging towards petty personal ends for months, which worries and upsets someone who cares about the state of the country that has to live through this lack of firm command on both sides. How can we be led by cowards when we need lions to deal with the grave global issues we face? Perhaps we are about to understand the consequences of short-term politicking by both parliamentary factions.

Issues with the new Speaker

Orcish Spy: Creature – Orc

“You idiot! Never let the spies mingle with the Orcish regulars after completing a mission. Now we’ll never get them to fight!” – General Khurzog

If Labour really did install John Bercow as Speaker because they wanted to get one up on the Tories, they may manage to destabilise the Opposition because of the possibility that this reflects badly on the competency of the Opposition to balance the neutrality of Parliament with their own petty ends. The squabbles don’t seem to be abating – but have thrown a new player into the ghastly mix. Bercow might have been mingling with the regulars, but Owlperson confides that the card is more appropriately read as a warning to Labour not to expect him to be a safe pair of hands either – that Bercow has always been a law unto himself and represents the nadir of the idea of neutrality rather than a true upholder of Parliament’s honour. Labour inserted him, the Tories lost their nerve and rose to the bait – and Parliament is dragged further downhill.

Direction

Combat Medic: Creature – Human Soldier

“We’d no sooner knock ‘em back on their heels that that accursed sawbones would show up and patch ‘em back together again.” – Ivra Jursdotter, pp David Cameron

Interpreting this rather cynically, Labour do have an amazing tendency to calm down and face-forward. The healing element of this card suggests that, although the longer it lasts the harder it is to stop the momentum destroying everything, the party is not dead yet and is actually recuperating after a torrid spring. The cards have never lied to me; they may be obtuse at times but the clear message here is a respite from the fray and the restoration, however temporary, of some sort of health.

Solution

Icatian Priest: Creature – Human Cleric

“May you be strong and valiant, to defeat the enemies of the pure.” – “Leitbur’s Prayer”

Again, it is not over for Labour, because they have strong friends still and from their own ranks will come someone to assist them to at least survive the summer, although whether it will be strong enough to repair the damage totally is another matter. This complements the Combat Medic because it restores pride and hope after the immediate medical aid given to the party when it comes off life support. The battle is not over and the war not yet entirely won, but at least skirmishes may prove more successful in the near future.

Outcome

Carapace: Enchant Creature

“The tougher to crack, the sweeter the snack.” – Kakra, Sea Troll

Labour have proved more resilient than the Tories have because they have a shared ideology (Owlperson is suggesting this even as a Conservative himself). The Tories’ strengths lie elsewhere, but although the flavour text suggests some ominous ending, it still enables Labour to harden and stiffen the party’s resolve; though the ability of the card to sacrifice itself to regenerate – or revive the chosen creature – means that there may not be a second chance if the hide is pierced this time.

Significant events during the summer

Spore Cloud: Instant

The fog in this card suggests that the situation begun in May will trundle on all summer and damage the party’s ability to focus on anything but the chaotic and poisonous system. There isn’t much hope of a return to normal; and of course spores mean fungus will spread to anything Labour try and use to dampen down the flames. The party should concentrate on politics for the summer with conference in hand to try and begin things anew, though the rest of the readings for the autumn and winter foretell wider Parliamentary chaos ahead.

Significant events during the autumn

Vodalian Mage: Creature – Merfolk Wizard

“Come back, cowards! Everyone knows Merfolk can’t wield magic!” – Pashadar Dirf, Goblin Flotilla Commander, last words

This to me is the wild card in the situation. The flavour text points to someone that Labour do not perceive as a threat but suddenly surprises everyone by becoming one before Labour can do anything about it. I will have to see this from the Conservative side, but Owlie says this is why he suggested using the Magic cards rather than the Tarot because they offer more direct ideas on the issue of who will sort this out for us. The blue of the card suggests this figure which Labour fail to take seriously will be a Tory; but I can’t imagine Brown being surprised by Cameron, who seems as complacent as ever, and I will have to look at their personal cards for a clue to who the Vodalian Mage is. Still, it gives us a nice name for the Wild Card, even more pithy than Wild Card itself.

 

I will be returning to active duty ASAP, I have been away for a week having a bit of relaxing Me time while MPs continue having their own Us time. I took a trip up to Wales, Cardiff, up through the valleys by bus via Merthyr Tydfil to Abergavenny, then by train to Hereford and back down to Reading via Newport. Photographs are available here on Facebook.

The other thing I need to post about is our new Speaker, John Bercow. Owlperson tells me he is a grey horse spirit, which for him flags up some interesting pointers regarding his own prophecies. He also said that although he himself did not back him - for various personal reasons - he is relieved that we now have a Tory speaker again, our first since Bernard Weatherill was appointed in 1983.

I think I better read for Bercow. Over the last week I've got back into Magic: The Gathering (mostly as something to read rather than something to buy as although I am now in the black for the first time since 2006, I am loathe to go back into the red again without good cause. I have in the past used the trading cards as a freeform card oracle set; the graphic fantasy images lend themselves well to epic and interpersonal readings, and Owlperson can be kept happy with the various "Strix" cards released in the latest block, Shards of Alara.

All links point here to the Magic: The Gathering site card database, The Gatherer.

On we go. The passage in italics for certain cards (but not all) are the included flavour text for the cards. This always assists with a reading as it is a small vignette associated with the card in question.

JOHN BERCOW - the Speaker at the End of the Universe

Situation on assuming office:

Runed Stalactite: Artifact - Equipment

When a changeling adapts a form no other changeling has taken, a rune appears in the caverns of Velis Vel to mark the event.

The situation for Bercow - and for all of Parliament - is one which is mutating into new and unseen directions. The situation was exceptional, and the timing of Michael Martin's departure was exceptional and the government's interference was also exceptional. It also creates a precedent, and the aura surrounding the card is the intensification and complication of a developing pattern, rather than a situation which is settling down into a comfortable modus operandi.

Outward Aspects of his Election:

Goldmeadow Harrier: Creature - Kithkin Soldier

"It's a proven fact that sling-stones from the dawn side of the riverbank sail the farthest and truest" - Deagan, cenn of Burrenton

This card suggests to me that Bercow is the insurgent candidate and sailed through the impasse Labour had come to in the decision whom to "stitch in" to the important post. He was a natural choice, and had little difficulty in the end because of the machinations of those who wanted to exercise political patronage (Labour) or their own vanity campaign (Widdecombe's idiocy). This just confirms Bercow was a natural candidate because he came without baggage - despite his past equivocation in the Conservative Party counting against him in Owlperson's eyes when it came to the actual election - and an obvious-but-not-obvious accession also holds pointers to the future of the situation as well as his own rule as Speaker.

Inward Aspects of his Election:

Deeptread Merrow: Creature - Merfolk Rogue

"My success at navigating the Dark Meanders irritates the Inkfathom school. They consider themselves peerless divers, but I try to remind them that they cannot own commodities like bravery and cunning."

Bercow did also draw on his own ability to machinate and assumed power, rather than office. This is a darker card, because it suggests that Bercow used the system to his advantage as much as Labour or Widdecombe might have done, and in him Labour have a false friend because they remember his past enthusiasm for their policies while underestimating his loyalties to the Tories. However this is not the sort of thing that is likely to balance out the overpowerful partisan streak in Parliament and restore a centre of gravity - it is all about partisan advantage. Both Labour and the Tories will be disappointed in this - but so ultinmately will Bercow if he had to manipulate things as much as this card suggests to me.

Roots of his Election:

Herbal Poultice: Artifact

"Apply orange leaf to a wound at dawn to clean it, at dusk to prevent the same injury from happening again." - Kithkin superstition.

Simples - the desire for healing and the belief that the system will sort itself out. Whether or not this is possible or not will follow in other cards.

Seeds sown by his Election:

Wanderer's Twig: Artifact

For every tree who falls, there are countless sprouts waiting to rise.

There is the look of the dowsing rod about this card, and the mechanic brings forth a new "land" card to power the spells which the game casts. New ground is broken, but with this text here, it looks as if more will have to be cleared to facilitate this regrowth and renewal.

Labour reaction to Election:

Changeling Berserker: Creature - Shapeshifter

There is quite a direct reference to a renewed sense of fight within a Labour party who cannot control things directly any more and may feel that they are at the mercy of even a tame Tory speaker. Although the speakership rotates, it seems that Labour have had control since 1992 - since, in other words, the Tories started to dip in control over their government. The mechanic text suggests however that "Champion"ing their factions to balance Bercow out might be on their mind. If so, expect berserk reactions to this and a renewed struggle for control.

Conservative reaction to Election:

Primal Forcemage: Creature - Elf Shaman

Their calls unheeded by the withered forests, nature shamans channeled the life force of their brethren.

Expect the Tories too to believe that they are in some sort of control. Although the Speaker becomes a functional independent, the Tories are obviously quite happy to have one of their own in the Chair, albeit one who in Owlperson's view ought to have done the honourable thing as Quentin Davies did and crossed the floor some time ago. The card doesn't lie, and perhaps Cameron now can believe he is the power behind the throne, even if he is not yet on the throne itself. A dangerous idea, but one which comes from the deepening of party interests without corresponding dignity in government and opposition, which has reduced politics to this shabby state in the first place.

Direction for Bercow over the summer:

Freyalise's Radiance: Enchantment

Bercow here maintains a snowy, chilly calm over Parliament while calling for reinforcements to assist stem the growing tide of difficulties. With things not settled yet, some firm hand is needed to keep the opposing forces here in balance and see whether it is possible to reform and regenerate without having to force a wholesale breakdown in parliamentary systems. However it merely holds the situation in stalemate, and the cumulative upkeep mechanic here - the card gets progressively and even exponentially harder to maintain - gives the impression that it will not hold for very long.

Direction for Bercow after the summer:

Giant Harbinger: Creature - Giant Shaman

The danger here lurking is not held in abeyance for long and the costly balance of the summer leads to further difficulties later on. My own expectations have pinpointed September and October as potential flashpoints, and the giant, looking at the small gains he has made over the period of balance, is once again on the warpath - and as the card dictates, he is bringing several larger, buffer friends along. No card with the word Harbinger is going to predict the situation being put to bed.

Solution to this year's situation for Bercow:

Makeshift Mannequin: Instant

"This vulgar mimicry will end now." - Desmera, perfect of Wren's Run

In more ways than one, this isn't the card I'd like to see for a newly appointed anything. The card props up a dead creature and makes it brittle - the player has to sacrifice it if someone targets a spell at it specfically. Frail, vulnerable, and undead. Not really a great solution for our new speaker, but as I've been expecting this situation in general to lead to something greater and more powerfully cataclysmic, I can't say I'm surprised.

Outcome for Bercow this year:

Crush Underfoot: Tribal Instant - Giant

Using MTG cards as oracles are always blunt and direct (they told me last year that the Russians were going to beat us in the Olympics by showing me the card Ashcoat Bear - symbolic of course of the Slavic Titan) but none so much for this. Loathe as I am to prophesy that Bercow is only going to be temporary, the way things are going this year I would be surprised if there wasn't a sad and rather dangerous end to this tale, especially with Pluto having entered our British star sign Capricorn and letting off its firework laden load.

That's all for now. Chilling, but thrilling to use the cards again to read fortunes with.