Posts archive for: 26 May, 2009
  • 26 May 2009 - Boris' bike crash - a near miss -- and life imitating "art"


    Dangerous times for everyone.

    At Christmas there was a radio show - I think it was the Now Show, I can't think the News Quiz would be so violent - with a silly ditty that went "I hope that Boris Johnson and David Cameron/have a bike smash" or something along those lines that scans better. Although I am no fan of either of them - both should have stayed in the Eton ghetto they came from - I didn't really think that a national satirical show should have broadcast such a stupid and horrible song with no real comedic value.

    Since then, however, Cambo lost his bike again to another thief, and Boris has just narrowly averted being run over by a lorry.

    I'm not really sure how it works - was the song-writer subconsciously psychic and peering ahead with the depths of his mind (and it would have to be the depths to have the audacity to write that lyric) - or was he willing something nasty to happen to both of them?

    In which case, fate has conspired to stick two fingers up to the songwriter, and rightly so. Neither man, lightweights they may be, deserves to be killed in a road accident. It didn't get anything like the number of complaints the BBC got over Sachsgate, but I did complain at the time and am surprised at how much life does narrowly escape imitating art.

    There is a song in this manner, though it is more cryptic and more gentle. It uses animals - and the odd farm implement - to get across a seemingly nonsense rhyme, yet to me a few years ago it began to make eerie sense. See if you can spot the allusions to recent times in this bit of lyricism from a 19th century Welsh broadsheet (of the balladeers' kind). Let your mind relax, and imagine the words of the song, and see whose face - or faces come to mind. I first heard it while doing A-Level Politics in 1998 and wrote a cartoon of the first stanza.

    Other animal nonsense songs occur, some more cryptic than others. Of course, with this stuff, you have to remember that although I was - aherm - foxed by some of the verses here in 2006 when I drew the song more completely in my cartoon diaries, all of them now make reasonable sense.

    The Seven Wonders - from the singing of Maddy Prior and June Tabor

    I heard it sung yesterday morning
    Ta-la-ring-ting-ring-tethering-too
    That a ship of lead swam o'er the ocean
    Ta-la-ring-ting...
    And a ship of cork sank to the bottom
    Ta-la-ring-ting...
    That is one of the seven wonders
    Ta-la-ring-ting-ring-tethering-too

    I heard it said that the partridge
    On the shore was playing stoolball
    And the balls were made of sand
    That is two of the seven wonders

    The pruning hook got in the meadow
    By itself it was reaping
    And in a day it cut an acre
    That is three of the seven wonders

    I heard it said there was a pig
    And on its cart it was loading bracken
    And its load it was making ready
    And that is four of the seven wonders

    I heard it said that in Llangollen
    That the moon was teaching reading
    And an excellent verse it gave there
    And that is five of the seven wonders

    I heard it said that on the rock
    That the dove it kept a tavern
    With its little cup to test the drink
    And that is six of the seven wonders

    I heard it said the swallow on the sea
    That he was making an iron horseshoe
    With golden hammer and silver anvil
    And that's the last of the seven wonders
    Ta-la-ring-ting-ring-tethering-too!

    They have, hinting at the moon verse, used a bit of license in the name of the Welsh town. And to get the dove verse, you have to remember why Charlie Kennedy left office.

  • 26 May 2009 - Esther Rantzen to stand against Margaret Moran


    Title says it all.

    I used to work for Moran, who struck me as being a pleasant woman (more pleasant than subsequent MPs that I've worked for and happier to promote someone who was enthusiastic but thinks slightly too much outside the box) but it's a shame that she appears to have been tainted by this scandal because the most endearing memory is the garden party she held at the end of the summer I spent in Luton and how ordinary it seemed. I think I had been brought up to see Parliament and MPs in general being a bit like Francis Urqhuart in House of Cards - posh flats, swish demi-tasse cups, leafy London homes and extensive country estates to shoot on. The difficult thing is that Moran stands accused of gross fiddling, which I don't dispute. But personally I can't deride her too much because she did help me on the way to finding my political way, even if it was outside the Labour Party, and to understand the ordinary nature of politicians. I've also been to parties with John Redwood and Rob Marris, and both again seem human - all too human. Laughing at the idiots turns quickly to dismay that good people have been brought down by this as well - but there can be no sympathetic aspect to what is coming. 

    So will Esther - who I don't know and who is well acquainted with the high life, despite her tireless work for charity - win Luton South, will Margaret hang on - or will something else happen, a wild card enter the situation? Let's see what the cards say.

    Past - IV Swords

    Moran did begin as a good MP - and I worked for her a year after her election to the House of Commons - but she had begun to become complacent, particularly after keeping her seat last time around. She worked hard but like many MPs became far too routine in her duties and then had to deal with a partner living in Southampton, the cause of her potential downfall. This card brings stasis, a healing stand-off in which very little, positive or negative, happens. This breeds complacency and then arrogance, shown here.

    Present - Temperance, reversed

    A time in which this balance is disrupted and undermined because of external events and the revelations of problems in the system which has hitherto been churning away quite quietly in the background. The upset balance has led or is leading to resolution.

    Rantzen currently - Justice

    Rantzen feels she is an avenging angel, and this card hints that she is a real danger to Moran, who needs to be cut out of the body politic she has helped to damage. I feel a great sadness in this - not least because of the personal connection I have with her, above party politics - but it is having to deal with this cancer in general that is the greater good, and Rantzen is a means to this end in this area. I feel sorry for Moran, but justice must be done, and seen to be done.

    Moran currently - Ace of Swords

    The Ace is either doing, or being done to, and this is Moran being challenged on home turf by someone perhaps with an unfair advantage but with a genuine anger. Owlperson says that Rantzen is a catalyst, not a born winner, but he also says that the blow has to be hard and that my personal sadness for Moran is just that - personal, not political. Moran is held at swordpoint, and it is a decisive and destructive Ace that holds her now.

    Future - VII Cups

    The future is still invisible - we can see no further into this as there are still a lot of moves to be made before Rantzen and Moran face each other over the ballot box. Owlperson suggests we look at the results first for the people of Luton South, then for the election in general, then finally for Moran and Rantzen and how the story ends for them, since the future is hidden behind the veil of possibilities that may have to be left unanswered at this time.

    Luton South - future representation in Parliament - IX Wands, reversed

    The stockade falls down around Parliament, and Luton South, as a marginal, will follow the rest of the country in delivering its verdict. The protective wall has fallen and there is the sense of a rushing in - a dam breaks not only for Moran but also for Rantzen. Try as I might, I can't answer at this time whether we will see Esther Rantzen MP - Owlperson says she is not suited for parliament because of her lack of pragmatic thoughts in this particular campaign, but he also says her future is not for me to know or prejudice in any way, since the issue has a long time to roll yet. But it will still be relevant at the next election, because what is happening now will drive this surge of opinion against the current set-up - all of them except those who eventually oversee the transition period after this deadly battle.

    The Election in general - V Pentacles, reversed

    The upright Five here means disappointment or, more explicitly, not seeing the woods for the trees and missing what really matters in pursuit of an illusory goal. The Rider-Waite image is of a stained glass window giving the picture of another world of riches and splendour, though also carrying connotations of spiritual wealth, with the human figures common to all cards poor and desperate, looking everywhere but upwards to the light. In this sense, the reversed card suggests the scales fall from the impoverished people's eyes, and they finally see the glory they have been missing or have been searching for. Thus this coming election will really decide the future of the country, and will not be skewed in the direction of the people who have hitherto controlled the levers of power - and I do also mean the two-party, or two-leadership, duopoly of Brown and Cameron. They are desperately trying to prevent people looking upward, but Rantzen embodies the third way - if you will pardon the reference - even though I don't see her actually getting the benefit of this deal.

    Margaret Moran in general - King of Pentacles, reversed

    It is a shame that the King here is reversed and dethroned, because I do believe that Moran remains interested in her constituents and her unfortunate circumstances led to her being profligate with our money, rather than her spending it on feathering one's own (ducks') nest. She did work hard for her constituents in ways that they don't understand, and I see her heading for defeat anyway if she stands, though I am, as I said, not wholly convinced Rantzen will be the one who dethrones her.

    Esther Rantzen in general - Knight of Pentacles, reversed

    Rantzen is also hard at work - making she gets her own way - but the reversal here confims my belief she won't make it into Westminster (and who can say her own ambitions are spotless? isn't she just in it for herself as well?). The Knight has less control over events than the King, above, and although Esther has done things for people through her work for That's Life and Childline (as well as other media hobby-horses) she has not got the worthiness of Moran's own direction, and will just as soon be eaten by the mill she currently feeds. She isn't going to make it into Parliament, and although the future is still veiled, it is almost certain that this is not Tatton 1997, and also almost certain that this seismic change in politics will rival 1688 rather than being "1945 in spades", as 1997 was labelled by Jim Callaghan the morning after the night before. So no-one here will profit from it - but everyone will benefit.

  • 21 May 2009 - Big Foxy and the Little Duckies


    David Cameron has pledged to reduce the power of Number 10, a Guardian article pledges today. He stops short of pledging proportional representation, which apparently (and I do agree with this) concentrates more power in political elites than in the hands of voters. particularly if lists of candidates are proposed (as in the European election system due to be used on 4 June) or electoral candidates directly voted for are "topped up" by the parties from pre-arranged lists according to

    My old lecturer at the London School of Economics, Professor Brendan O'Leary (whose lectures were of course prefaced by "if you want more information on this subject, it's in my course textbook, you know, the one I wrote, available in all good academic bookshops priced £20") cited this example at the time at which Ron Davies was forced to stand down after the Clapham Common debacle, regarding the Welsh Assembly voting system. Members of the Assembly are elected in constituencies on an alternative-vote system (where the elector gets a second choice as well as a first; it is the system also used in the GLA elections, where I voted Labour first and second when Frank Dobson ran against Ken Livingstone in 2000), and "top-up" seats are allocated so the parties are represented broadly along the lines of proportionality. Alun Michael, proposed at the last minute as a leader for the Labour delegation to the Assembly*, would have to be shoehorned in to the top-up list. Brendan O'Leary confidently asserted that this ran the risk of Labour winning so much of the AV constituency vote that there was no room for any top-up candidates to be selected from their list, leaving Michael high and dry without a seat on the assembly. As it happened, Michael won his seat, only to be replaced by Morgan while I was in a beta-blocker induced haze and not watching politics after I stopped studying British politics after my first year at the School.

    Cameron's proposals sound good on paper but I would rather let the tarot speak for me as I don't believe they are what the country needs right now (in terms of cleaning up the mess left by Hurricane Jacqui-Hazel) and I don't believe that he will be able to implement them because I don't think he is going to win the election on this ticket. If he wants to be just a figurehead that's fine by me (there are plenty of people I would rather actually ran the country; Foxy still has issues with the old Mary Jane and I'd rather he wasn't stoned when Obama comes asking him to press the button on Iranistan or somewhere like that) but I'm not going to vote for him anyway so I don't really care.

    Situation in which Cambo finds himself today - The Fool, reversed

    Cameron is looking dangerously like he is making things up as he goes along. The Fool does this well, upright, but reversed it begins to look as if these ideas came to him in a dream or a drug-induced haze; they are too insubstantial to hold his weight in government (or for him to be able to be trusted to enact) and they are being proposed at the expense of concentrating on the real issues behind the expenses scandal, or the real issues facing the country. Brown might look a bit pathetic when he tries to focus the debate back onto policy - he can't do that while the Torygraph is still bleeding my eyes with its crowing headlines - but Cameron cannot win an election without saying what he would do on health, education, the economy and so on, and yet he continues to bluff his way through with the tactic of the sorceror's apprentice - with predictable results predicted by this card.

    Appearance of these proposals to the media - X Swords

    This refers to the guillotine effect - the cutting off, brazenly, of government/prime ministerial power. But this is not a good card, and it brings with it not only the dramatic slicing off of someone's power, it also curtails the debate and is a card wielded against the querent, in this case David Cameron. Cameron looks like he is being tough, but this card suggests the media considers him now too bold, too dramatic, and too foolhardy to last the course of an election, even his snap poll that he so desperately wants.

    Appearance of these proposals to the public - King of Swords, reversed

    The King of Swords makes proposals everyone wants (even if he is not always in the position to do anything about it, and is consequently a card which accentuates the position of a good Leader of the Opposition) but this reversal suggests the public will not be satisfied with it and will continue to regard what is coming out of Westminster as a smokescreen. Cameron could probably do much more to clean out his Shadow Cabinet - Gove, Duncan, and now Hague with his party political spin expenses claim are under the finger of the press - but he has chosen to wildly churn out insubstantial ideas which in the long run will damage his claim to the throne even if they currently appear strong and masterful.

    Internal appearance to the Conservative party - Ace of Wands, reversed

    A tactic which is the exact opposite of what is really needed, and the party regards this as meddling rather than the brilliantly witty bon mot which Cambo hopes it might be. If Cameron had come out saying "Gove and Duncan will get the chop, I'm sacking Kirkbride and David Davis and anyone else who has had their fingers in the till illegitimately, including myself, and by the way I will pledge to raise spending on health and education year-on-year while pruning back other areas of spending which are superfluous to requirements (this, this, this, and this)", that would be the Ace of Wands upright. Sadly, anohter opportunity to regain standing missed on pointless procedural posturing.

    Internal appearance to the Government - III Wands, reversed

    The government cannot rest easily here either; it is impossible really for them to trump this and impossible for them to pull the debate back their way; this card upright is what happens when a comfort zone (the IV Wands) is broken and things begin to move forwards again; but reversed it means this movement is forcible and not in the querent's favour - the querent being the onlooking, lame duck (if you will pardon the dig yet again; ducks seem infused into our language, don't they?) government. The race is now to the bottom, and the government is playing catch-up with the only consolation being that Foxy is chasing his tail on this issue too. 

    Roots of the situation - Judgement, reversed

    The sad thing really is that here we have a delay in actual justice being imposed on this horrific rabble, not least on those who deserve it most. The more this is delayed, however, the greater it appears as a farce waiting for anarchy to engulf it. Cameron is playing for time and hoping to beat the clock to the finish; but the more he tries to evade punishment, the more it dangles over all of our heads in the form of sheer, destructive, political anarchy. There are lessons here from the days of Allende in Chile - if none of the current lot really understand what is coming, then the worse it will be when it gets here. Who is to be our Pinochet?

    Seeds sown by the situation - IV Wands, reversed

    Illusory structure, in that Westminster and the media not involved in printing the actual story, think that this crisis can be overcome with electoral or political reforms to power, competencies, role of MPs or the method of their selection. This is the comfort zone for them - because they know nothing else - but this comfort zone is breaking down into the situation required for, in other countries, a coup or the takeover of a junta. It happened in Chile, and it happened in Argentina, and it happened in many other countries who thought they had strong political systems, but were wrong. It could happen here if no-one addressed the real problems - and no-one can, since they would risk prison themselves.

    Advice to Cameron - King of Wands, reversed

    Slow down and think about this, Cambo. Don't try and hijack something for your own cause that makes you look good now but ignores the real issue. The King of Wands delights in being first to the story, using words to create structures, promising jam tomorrow rather than delivering it today. In that sense, the reversed card urges Cameron to think before he speaks, to think on the consistency and coherency of his message rather than rushing to print with his next big idea. It is his leadership writ large, and belies an insecurity that ultimately may prove his undoing.

    Warning to Cameron - Knight of Cups, reversed

    Again, the above card from a different angle. Cameron is drunk on his own success, and his flimsy ideas mirror David Davis' fit of pique last summer: trying to change government policy by the political equivalent of seppuku when the right thingss  to have done was, since the Conservatives opposed 42-day detention, to have worked with his own side to balance things once he became Home Secretary. He was the dashing Knight of Cups who kept appearing in spreads this time last year. This reversed card only intensifies that and makes this current over-reaction by Cameron seem overbalanced - work harder to get the substance right, and then people wouldn't be so disillusioned in general. Destroying systems because of bad people in charge will not do – people want the bad people prosecuted. Cameron is fiddling while Rome burns, and although the government is not doing that much either, politics is in meltdown and a simple cup of water will not put it out.

    Direction for Cameron – The Hanged Man

    The Hanged Man means, in a directional spread, that there is a need to take a step back and reassess the situation before plunging on. Cameron cannot really fix things until he is safely in government, and the powerful surge of anti-politics cannot be tamed by electoral reform or reducing the power of the Prime Minister – both non-sequiturs when the Chancellor of the Exchequer is charging his own tax returns to the Fees Office or someone is building a duck island in his personal lake and charging it to the public purse. This is not something that can be solved this way, and Cameron will take a step back and re-assess his own position – or, more likely, be forced to.

    Direction for these proposals –Ace of Pentacles

    The proposals themselves form the kernel of future reform anyway – Owlperson admits that he sees five-year fixed terms on the cards, a revamped ;) expenses system which is much more stringent, a pay rise for MPs to allow them to do what they will with their own money (though not to the proposed £100,000, more like, he says, £80,000) and prime ministerial patronage reduced to the bare minimum, particularly in selecting those to go on to the Lords and those who join quangos and other bodies. He says Cameron will not be implementing them, because if he got to government he would ignore most of what he has said, either in the face of pragmatism imposed on him by the civil service (which Owlperson says makes it difficult for ideologues to get their hands any nearer power than, say, Neil Kinnock did) or because his own indulgent behaviour behind the scenes makes it unlikely that once in government he will oblige anyone who voted for him on the strength of these proposals. The next PM – and the winner of the next election – will be a former cabinet minister who, unlike Foxy or his “near ancestor” Blair, knows what it takes to balance the needs of government with the need to embrace public opinion. The tide will turn against Foxy, but not all of what he says need be discounted. Owlperson also notes that the defenestration of the Tory backbenchers in question – the Wintertons particularly – will make it much easier for the next Tory leader to control his party, and urges caution in saying that all Foxy’s new candidates would form a Cameron’s Comrades situation after the next election.

    Solution – The Devil, reversed

    The depth of the disfigurement of Parliament is now such that Ewan MacColl’s “Dirty Old Town” comes to mind:

    I’m going to make a good sharp axe

    Shining steel, tempered in the fire

    We’ll cut you down, like an old dead tree

    Dirty old town, dirty old town

    The tree, Owlperson says, like much symbolism that appears in songs he considers prophetic of the end of the world, is pertinent here as well. ;) This card therefore points to renewal through utter pain, which cannot be reversed simply by words.

    Trend on the whole issue – Page of Pentacles, reversed

    Those who are trying to fix this have as much hold on the issue as someone trying to nail the proverbial jelly to the ceiling. Instead of sowing the seeds of reform, they are (like Alan Shearer’s desperate attempts to keep Newcastle from relegation which, predictably, ended in failure over the weekend with a risible own goal by the aptly named Damien Duff) mismanaging decline and trying too late in the day to stop the ship from capsizing. Instead of the steady and strong King steering the ship of state, the current rabble – on both sides – are, again like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice that this card represents in its reversed aspect, involved in the chaos and cannot be relied upon to put it right to everyone’s satisfaction.

    Outcome – Eight of Swords

    This card represents, ironically, being trapped and although the bonds are loose and the gate open, no-one can see the way out. The Rider-Waite image is of a princess trapped in a circle of swords, hands tied and blindfolded, but waiting serenely there for her knight in shining armour. This image summarises our political class quite nicely – they are waiting for something which, when it comes, will burn her at the stake. And she is still waiting and hoping for it to go away. Poor her. Not.

    -------------------------------

    *(and subsequently deposed by the real leader of Wales, Rhodri Morgan, who has by rights done a superb job and proved, like Ken Livingstone, that the Blairite machine generally knew sod-all about who their electorates would accept, forcing Livingstone's grudging reacceptance into the Labour Party once it became clear that the Tories had a chance and an official Labour candidate in 2004 would dangerously split the vote)

  • 26 May 2009 - Political card of the day


    Today's card is another bad one, after yesterday's moderately productive omen.

    IX Swords

    The Nine of Swords indicates that another torrid day is in store for the establishment (a whole panoply of sorry excuses for till-dipping comes out on the Torygraph front page, fingering two past Tory leaders for putting spin on exes, for example, and yet more on Julie "One down, one to go" Kirkbride; to be fair to Labour, more tax advice has been funnelled through the Fees Office, thanks to Meg Munn). The scandal is already claiming innocent victims - Laura Moffat, cited by this blog as being an example of a good, conscientious MP sitting on a slim majority but doing everything she possibly can to hold her own, is in hospital recovering from a haemmorhage. We wish her a speedy recovery, though under this card recovery is slow and painful :(.

    So another day with intensifying pressure but no sign of actual release as, as I related earlier, everybody and his duck tries to pass the responsibility for this on to the electoral system rather than calling the Old Bill in.

    It can go on as long as it likes, as far as I'm concerned - there will be a holocaust at some point, since no-one is actually addressing the real issues, and this card suggests that destructive influences, at least today, will claim another couple of scalps, though whether they are the right ones or not, will be up to the people concerned.

    And the duck must stop with Brown and Cameron. Now.

    (Question: Is Viggers a duck totem? Answer, yes. That's why he went quackers when the ducks didn't like it.)

  • 26 May 2009 - Do we *need* electoral reform...


    ...or is it just a way for the politicians in charge to dodge the issue?

    PR will not clean out the government, and Foxy's ideas - fixed term parliaments, taking the date of an election away from the PM, are long overdue - won't stop MPs pinching from the till.

    It's like the following scenario: I was at work on Saturday supervising a new employee who gave me a much-needed respite from the job, which normally sees me behind a till for 12 hours. The new girl is mouse totem, usually mice-people do well in shops as most coffee bars and restaurants employ them; they are conscientious, bright and happy people, with smart personal grooming and inquisitive and imaginative ideas (Sarah Teather and Jo Swinson are both mice, and mice tend towards the Liberal Democrat end of politics as they are air-earth elementals - rooted in the country, so they look after their constituents well, but whose ideals often come before practicalities like government pragmatism). She was not the sharpest tool in the book; mice are not often academics, and do often go on appearances rather than deep realities (all totems, as you know, have their upsides and downsides).

    Mouse-girl - let's call her Angelina Ballerina - had a £35.50 till deficit when it came to cash up. I'm not accusing her of thieving - it's really hard ever to get a till spot on to balance. Within a pound is fine - but not £35.50 out. The proprietor goes ballistic if the deficit is more than about £5, and mine usually come within a pound, particularly when on Saturday and Sunday I do the whole day. But £35.50 is straying, in newsagent terms, into duck-island territory. The poor girl was obviously at a loss as to what had happened, but instead of saying straight up, "OK, what do you think has happened, and what should I do better next time?" she started to rant at me, saying she'd only had a 60p bottle of water (which she had rung through the till and not put the money in - a surprisingly rare case in which a mistake can be made, since most transactions by a good assistant are made without particular error; my feeling is that most errors come from mistakes in counting and balancing the float rather than mistakes in input and output through the till when a transaction is made*) --- fine, ok, so the till should be 60p short then --- and then the poor girl started saying, "but I only sold ice-creams, it was really slow, someone came in for a paper"...OK, again, fine, but according to the receipt she sold £90 worth of ice-creams etc. since I left her, and there was only £55 in the till after float.

    She then declared that she was late and her dad was waiting for her outside, and could she go because it was after 7 and she was only supposed to work from 2 to 7. The problems with the till had taken up longer than normal, yes, but I still hadn't shown her how to shut the shop and lock the doors (which key goes where, which, judging her intelligence, would have been a reasonably dificult job; mind you, I have worked there five months and have only just got it fully learned), and so on - which, if she ever comes back after that, she will be doing on her own next time.

    So little Angelina Ballerina was trying to blame everything on the fact that she only sold a certain type of good, rather than that she had either been dipping in herself (not likely) or making a gross amount of mistakes. This situation reminds me of the political arena at the moment, desperately trying to appease the public by deflecting the issue onto electoral reform, while not admitting that the party leaders themselves have bills wrongly claimed for expenses which haven't really been incurred as part of their duties.

    As above, so below. 

    The only plus is that Alan Johnson, everyone's preferred Labour leader (though not mine and not Owlperson's, who says he has a cat in hell's chance), is clean. The minus on this is that he is joining in the general obfuscation, as yet more revelations continue to stream out of Torygraph Towers. (Link only goes to the newspaper front page today - I can't be bovvered to link to each one...)

    This only makes it easier to get rid of the lot of them anyway :).

    *if I want something from the shop and don't have the cash on me, I note down what I've spent and put the whole bill through the till at the end.

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