Parliament of Fowls

Today's card of the day is...interesting, to say the least. Sorry for not writing over the weekend, but I felt it less easy to write two weekend cards because not much usually happens. This weekend did involve Facebook, MI6 and some rather less-covert-than-expected revelations, but they're gone now, so nothing really did happen. Trust me. It didn't...

Rain of Filth - Black - Instant

Today's card of the day is...

Goatnapper - Red - Goblin Rogue

Kith goats are just for practice. The real prize, of course, is a giant's cloudgoat.

Whatever happens now is a way in, a way of weakening someone in order to get to the real paydirt. It could refer to George Osborne - this could refer to a repeat of Yachtgate; Owlperson is shaking his head but Deep Throat is giving me this so it could be that Owlie is concerned that I am getting too excited while DT knows more about how this develops over a longer period of time. Basically, GO is not in any particular political danger. But the story is largely target practice for bigger game. The expenses scandal, and even Yachtgate, is not over quite yet.

Shame it comes from his local Tatton Labour Party rather than anyone else, as that kind of thing is easily brushed aside as party political motivation. Osborne's CGT issue will not be investigated as this is a matter - apparently - for HMRC.

Quite interesting that the Shadow Chancellor will be investigated by the department he may be responsible for after the Tories return to government, but stranger things have happened, such as Alistair Darling claiming tax advice on expenses and essentially getting away with it.

I look forward to HMRC being called in but I think the end of the world will happen before that. However, with Pluto in our collective national birth sign, Capricorn, stranger things have happened.

A card each for Osborne's past, present and future. An extra card fell out of the pack while I was shuffling, and for tarot readers this card is often important to the situation as a whole, so let's have it as a Situation card and then draw three more cards.

Situation - Smokebraider (Red, Elemental Shaman)

"Be silent and listen to your inner fire. Only then can you walk the path of flame."

In all this, the Tories are being scrutinised before they get a chance to enter government. They have had a fairly smooth ride so far, and since Yachtgate didn't remove him, he has to stand up to the "sunlight" he and Cambo have been assuring us is the "best disinfectant". How he behaves in this will provide a judgement on his suitability to be Chancellor. He should accept this challenge, but too often the Tories are arrogant enough to assume that the characteristics of Pluto in Sagittarius (PinS - henceforth Pluto in Cap is "PinC") - a ruling orthodoxy in the media and a free ride while their opponents are trampled underfoot - still apply. With Pluto entering Capricorn during Yachtgate, the Tories were surprised when their attempts to smear Mandelson rebounded on them. Essentially, this was a sign that the motto for this cuspal era, while PinS is blowing itself out and PinC is beginning to establish itself, that "what goes around comes around" and "he who fights by the sword dies by the sword" means greater balance in the press and greater opportunity to hold people of both sides to account for their actions. Osborne should look on this as a test. If he passes it, great, he is made of good stern stuff and can take on the role of Chancellor easily. If he fails...no dice. The Past/Present/Future spread will give me more of an idea whether he will pass or not.

Past - Elvish Promenade (Green, Enchantment)

"The faultless and immaculate castes form the lower tiers of elvish society, with the exquisite caste above them. At the pinnacle is the perfect, a consummate blend of aristocrat and predator."

Osborne indeed has lived by the sword. He was responsible for spinning against Mandelson, and it backfired because he expected to escape scrutiny due to the assumed media swing to the Tories. He hoped also to assume the mantle of a faultless or even become a perfect - and again the role of a politician in PinS was to be predator or prey. His old boss Howard became prey to Blair, but he and Cambo assumed they would be the predators to Brown. When the scandal hit, they hoped to use it to their advantage - and failed because they were also prey to a media who declared any politician fair game. So Osborne not only was a Perfect - by elvish standards - but assumed the mantle of a predator. Auden quoted the maxim "He to whom is evil done, does evil in return" in a poem about the Spanish Civil War. Sadly, the prey in 2005 is the predator in 2009 - but that maxim is becoming too apparent in the modern Conservative Party, at the expense of any idea of dignity, gravitas and coherent plans for long-term government. I prefer Brown's method of government, and in PinC that style of government becomes more and more necessary to cope with the potential collapses PinC augurs in the world financial system. So we must never assume the mantle of a perfect. But Osborne and Cameron know no better, and have.

Present - Duskwalker (Black, Minion)

Osborne (and, in my opinion Cameron too; since he is wedded to Osborne and didn't ditch him in late 2008 like someone more astute might have done in the wake of Yachtgate) is now corrupted by being part of the winning side, and is hoping to walk forward untested and unjudged into government. Not possible. If the heat of a general election wouldn't get him, the light of the expenses scandal might. The card is still powerful, but this power has been bought in exchange for his purity and incorruptibility. And guess what? He too has CGT bills he avoided. He can no longer stand up to the scrutiny PinC will bring. Even if he wins, he will be tainted, as his leader is, and unlike some of the older generation brought up in power under the forces of Pluto in Scorpio, where real deaths and real rebirths were constantly testing the mettle of Michael Howard and Ken Clarke, among others - the Hillsborough and Zeebrugge disasters, the Lockerbie bombings and Kegworth air crashes, the poll tax riots and other chaos, ending with the cuspal Dunblane massacre, exposed the government to scrutiny, forced their hands and ultimately led to the Tories' downfall. The intervening years have been all the worse for lack of scrutiny of government, and then opposition. But what that leads to is corruption that is now subject to scrutiny. Power for the Tories has come at a price. And the image of choking dust suggests more metaphorical clouds gathering to act as the abrasive scrutiny we all need and deserve.

Future - Lammastide Weave (Green, Instant)

"A ribbon torn will ward away dark dreams."

I'm going to give this a conservative reading and say we will find out Osborne's fate at Lammastide - early August. I can foresee a good ending - for all concerned - but the card points to what it has come to represent for me, and Osborne will have to wait for the judgement on his expenses, as will we, since July is going to be more evasion than actual enlightenment. It is a generous card, so I am allowing Deep Throat to come in and say that Osborne like others will be judged by the general election, but that things will be settled largely before then, so Lammastide is a fair reading for this card and attempts to guess what will happen will have to wait for that time for now.

And they think we're going to believe this. She should be made to stand up before the people who watch Daily Politics and say why she is really leaving, just how much she owes in CGT, and be made to write a cheque live on air.

Up until a few weeks ago, Kitty Ussher was the high-flying Exchequer Secretary to the Treasury, a job description which needs at least an A-level in Mastery of Tongue-Twisters to write, not to mention say. She resigned from the government because, as Wikipedia states:

On the 17th June 2009, after controversial details of MP's expenses had been released in the press Ussher resigned, citing a desire to "prevent embarrassment to the government" .Ussher is said to have flipped the designation of her second home from Burnley to South London, in order to avoid Capital Gains Tax estimated at between £9,750 and £16,800 on her Burnley property.

Essentially, another one caught with her hand in the CGT till. If she really felt this way, why was she a high-flying junior minister?

She claims to be leaving Parliament, essentially, to spend more time with her family, and not that her short and relatively inglorious career led her to commit tax evasion with public money. Although not yet a criminal offence, under GB's new ideas she'd face a year in jail. Hopefully if these laws come into effect they will make it retrospective.

Bye-bye Kitty. We all know the reasons you're standing down, and you're using the oldest excuse in the book. No need to pretend why you're doing it - people appreciate honesty in their MPs, and unfortunately, you being MP for Burnley might just have given the BNP more votes. Please don't let us face the prospect of a BNP MP...oops, you might already have.

The future is dim - the future is Nick Griffin. Hopefully, Labour can turn this one around, but I don't put it past the public mood, and this video does you no favours. In a time when we need truth - however ugly it is - we get another corrupt little porker who thinks she can slide into genteel obscurity. Wasn't that hard to get elected - but how hard will this make Labour's re-election in Burnley next time? One can only guess and hope and pray you don't send us into a re-run of 1933.

Let's have a look at this through the lens of the oracle cards.

Kitty Ussher - person/MP

Fertile Ground - Green - Enchantment/Aura

Pretty, valuable, and delicious - a boggart thief's trifecta.

Kitty tried to have her cake and eat it, and was a very promising young MP and minister. She appeared quite a tasty scalp for the Telegraph, and the elements of thievery here relate to the CGT issues. Without a moral compass, the 2005 intake - who could use Blair and Howard for their own gains and dump them when the coast was clear - have been seduced by the cornucopia of what was offered. Most candidates now will learn the pitfalls of such an approach, and one can only hope that the 2009-2010 intake will have learned from their predecessors wrongs. Tasty, fertile - and tempting. One could be referring to Ms Ussher and to Parliament here...but the party's over, kiddo.

Ostensible Reasons for Leaving

Elvish Branchbender - Green - Elf Druid

"How do the vinebred feel? Fah! We do not ask the puppet how it feels when the puppeteer bids it dance."

In the video, Kitty claims to feel that her children only see her on the Parliament channel given the workload. Owlperson advises here: it's possible to balance family life, even as a man, with parliamentary demands, particularly given the family-friendly hours. He confesses to feeling some sympathy for her - and it is no coincidence that "spending more time with the family" was once a genuine excuse to leave front-line politics, even if it became a euphemism for other less savoury events leading to resignation - but this sympathy is outweighed by the sheer incendiary nature of the video given that she was an ambitious minister who suddenly had to find a reason to leave with dignity. If she was operating under the new rules she would have got a prison sentence. So what the Daily Politics is thinking about the intelligence of the people seeing the video, he doesn't know, and why they - who were propelling the expenses scandal forward - are now trying to downgrade it is also anyone's guess. Again, bias gets in the way of revealing unpalatable truths. Perhaps Ms Ussher should be forced to make a second video - this time giving her real reasons for standing down.

Real Reasons for Leaving

Thick-Skinned Goblin - Red - Goblin Shaman

The shaman of the tribe is responsible for keeping track of all its treasures, including angry pets, cursed lamps of fiery doom, and CGT bills from HMRC.

Owlperson's addition. Ussher is just another person caught with her knickers down, a goblin with a knowing smile on her face thinking to Andrew Neil - will this do, Brillo-Pad? The great thing about TV is that the public have very limited right of reply.The even better - and scarier in the context of Burnley - thing is that the public have an extensive right of reply at the next election. Which is coming. Soon. Labour better put pressure on Ussher to do another slot, distance themselves from her, and select a decent successor for Burnley. Otherwise the nauseating spectacle of European election night and Nick Griffin could be repeated. For Westminster. If we don't stop these people hiding behind a benign spending-more-time-with-the-family smokescreen - or if we keep giving them peerages ;) - we will lose a lot more than just a couple of scamming bastards.

Outcome for Burnley

Wing Storm - Green - Sorcery

A thousand wings beating as one can choke the sky itself.

Burnley is going to be in ferment, not necessarily solely because of the video (though the BNP could plausibly do a version like the Downfall parodies, inserting subtitles to show Ussher's real reason - their marketing has got a lot better in recent years and I don't put it past them to do this) but because of the scandal in general. The elder in the picture is confronted by the horde of birds and flying animals beseiging him, which shows to me a public revolt. The green card suggests it may not be the BNP Labour are under threat from here, and it is more likely to show public dissatisfaction with the political system itself than just with the Burnley Labour Party. But the force here is a force for good, not evil, so something must happen to put the BNP on the back foot, if not Labour back on the right one.

Happy Birthday to my mother. Mustn't forget her present that I bought her in Hereford Cathedral the other week.

Today's card of the day is...

Tidal Flats - Blue - Enchantment

Interesting card, not so much because the wasteland depicted in the card suggests the calm after a storm but also that the intricate rules text suggests to me that a lot more is going on behind a flat and bare surface. While the parched atmosphere is inducing lethargy in our politicians, there are still machinations there - you just have to look beyond the surface to see them.

...Michael "Owlbastard" Martin is to get a peerage.

Just speechless about this so let's see what my cards say. It's the Leaf Dancer again. I promise I shuffled the pack but that kind of convinces me that this situation comes into conjunction with the Card of the Day. I can just see the Torygraph front page tomorrow...

Martin has slipped passed us under the radar and speared himself a nice, plump "retirement" present that goes beyond any possible semblance of a joke. It's a great Tom Lehrer moment - you know, the guy who said satire was dead when Henry Kissinger received the Nobel Peace Prize - isn't it?

Today's Card of the Day is rather agile and evasive, and since I pulled a similar card for PMQs, I suspect it may have a bearing on what Brown avoids saying rather than what he actually does say.

Leaf Dancer - Green - Centaur

"A leaf dancer sweeps through the forest like a spring breeze, evading even the sharpest eyes and ears."

Brown may find himself out on a limb again but his agility here means he escapes from PMQs with his honour, if not dignity, intact. "Forestwalk" is the keyword on this card, which allows the creature to attack unblocked if the defending player controls a forest card (used to provide green "mana") so the centaur pictured, representing Brown according to Deep Throat, can even land a blow or two on Mr Foxy. But Foxy, being a woodland animal himself, may have other things up his sleeve.

As to who wins, I get the green card

Lammastide Weave - Green - Instant

"A ribbon torn will ward away dark dreams"

As such the winner is not obvious but Deep Throat is saying that the PM will at least acquit himself well, if not turn the tables back on Vulpes Vulpes. The dark dreams - for now - are kept at bay, but they are still there.

Michael Jackson's kids aren't his - allegedly. Twitter said so but I seem to have lost the tweet from TelegraphNews and I can't find it on Google. But it was there. Really.

Given that this photo shows that his older son is not exactly material for the Black Panthers, I'm not sure I ever believed that they were. Going by Barack Obama, one would expect them to ... well ... how do I put this delicately? ... look a bit more like him as he was at the age of 5.

Nevertheless, the tarot never lies. What does the oracle say?

Deep Spawn - Blue - Homarid

Actually, they may be. The "spawn" idea suggests that Jackson's progeny are deeply bonded to their father and were indeed the fruit of his loins. Debbie Rowe might have given them their looks, but looking at the older boy's nose...yup, that's Jacko in there. Owlperson notes that dual-heritage children are more often than not darker-toned than children of white parents. But there is no guarantee that this will be the case and counsels even that two such children in a row are not unusual.

All the same, because they don't look of dual heritage - I'm not convinced that this episode in the long-running saga won't stop here. Pulling a card for the issues around Jackson's children, Grinning Ignus (Red - Elemental: "Take care what you offer the ignus. Food, perhaps. Coins. But nothing flammable!" - Stovic, village eccentric) again warns of a potential firestorm over this - but only if the plaintiffs in this case are reckless and try to assert their case by ordering a DNA test. For the resolution of the issue here, Rebellion of the Flamekin (Red- Tribal Enchantment/Elemental) again emphasises that the situation can be won by the party who controls and directs the potential firestorm and can provide absolute proof of their assertions; the rebel issues here mean to me that the insurgents in the situation - presumably the mother - might have an advantage.

Brown is risking the Norwich North by-election on July 23. He must know something we don't. Having already done a reading for that poll, drawing a card for the reasons for not pushing it back, Fertile Ground (Green - Enchantment/Aura) - "Pretty, valuable, and delicious - a boggart thief's trifecta") suggests he believes there is scope to win there and that circumstances are more favourable on the ground. Let's hope so.

Anyway, today's card.

Elephant Ambush - Green - Instant

This image, combined with the idea of "Flashback" - playing a card from your discard pile rather than you hand - suggests to me there is someone who we think is politically "dead" lurking in the wings. How you can hide when you are the size and stature of an elephant is largely beyond me but the idea of an ambush from beyond the metaphorical grave intrigues me enough to leave it to our collective imaginations as to who and what will happen.

As for something I noted on my Facebook page last night about the Tories' need to tell us what they are doing, there is a problem when people see them as a possible government but too dependent on not being Labour to govern. My feeling is that - privately - the party has always promised me as an activist that they will be putting forward a proper platform for government "in a couple of months". That "couple of months" has lasted a couple of years at worst.

Some people cite fear of the media and Gordon Brown making a mockery of them and using them to deny the Tories a return to government. But the media are much more favourable to the Tories now than they were in 2003-05, and no government has ever been elected without a thorough exposition of their policies or by becoming the focal point for concrete opposition - such as Tony Blair became in 1995-97, particularly with issues such as handguns. By contrast, I don't see the Tories concentrating on anything other than raw statistics - activists on the ground, poll ratings, poll leads - which will evaporate or become disillusioned if they make no more than a cursory nod towards policies in the months ahead and continue to bash Labour's record repeatedly without offering a positive alternative or one constructed with government - rather than just an election win - in mind. Labour had that platform and design for government in 1997, otherwise they wouldn't have lasted so long now. Whether or not you agree with them - and I've said several times the state needs to refocus and allow non-state organisations to develop and grow rather than making people dependent on government bureaucracy - it seems to work.

Perhaps the Tories know this - that they don't have a credible alternative to Labour's bureaucracy yet. They have a scheme for short-term cuts, yes, and a reduction in spending, yes - but not how to spend the reduced budget in such a way that existing statist necessities like a . In many places they are indistinguishable from Labour or propose fairy flim-flam like a Minister for Quality of Life. They don't understand the modern age and, as I've said several times, don't understand that the world has moved on since they were last in government. Blair adapted to the conventions set up by Thatcher and Major, but established conventions of his own. The Tories understand this, but they do lack awareness of the extent to which the public sector has evolved under Blair.

It's no longer a case of "I want my country back". It's a case of "We want to move our country forward in a different way".

So what are those different ways? The Tories still don't apparently know except "let's cut off resources we can't afford". They need to get more in-depth and more mature before they will convince the public that not only are Labour dead, they are also obsolete. I don't think that will happen if they hide their manifesto until polling day in a general election, or want an election before one is fully ready.

(Owlperson says it isn't because they have had to change direction so many times in the last few years - due to the recession - that what worked in 2006 doesn't work in 2009 and thus the bulk of the policy is still subject to the changing economic times. As a loyal Tory but a former government minister, most of the above is what he thinks the Tories still need to understand, let alone distill into practical policy, and he thinks that the support for the Tories in his constituency is still not deep enough among the marginal parts to be assured at an election, though the main opposition for him is Liberal Democrat. Extrapolating his ideas on to the national picture, the Tories will certainly pick up seats but not reassure people that they are competent enough to govern instead of Labour to get into overall government. He predicts a small Labour majority with questions as to whether the LDs will lose seats to the official opposition - but not enough and in not significant enough places to wreck Labour's fourth election victory.)

Today's card of the day is

Grinning Ignus - Red - Elemental

"Take care what you offer the ignus. Food, perhaps. Coins. But nothing flammable!" - Stovic, village eccentric.

Today's card of the day suggests something flammable may be offered to the Ignus - but will he take it?

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!